Chapter Twenty Nine
Before Margaret could say another word, John kissed her. He stroked her lips with his tongue, as she lost all concern about what was on her mind a moment ago. She felt the fire flare within her and saw the passion in John’s eyes. He had known what tonight would bring to them. She embraced his tongue as it entered her mouth and heard him sharply catch his breath.
John was emboldened when he felt her willing to give as well as receive, despite her naivety to the experience. Lust could possible lead one to such encouragements but he knew that love was with them, expanding and deepening the physical ecstasy. He struggled to contain his raging desire for her because she was still innocent of a developing passion. And although he had never bedded a woman with her virtue still intact, he knew what pleasures and discomfort would be awaiting her. This was a sacred quest. And this first time, above all other times to come, would be their most precious memory. He tried to rein in his fevered blood and excited bodily actions. If he kept breathing heavily he might frighten her.
Surprising herself, Margaret slid her hands under his shirt. Her soft warm hands found his skin and John could not help himself when a pleasurable a groan slipped from his mouth. Margaret became frustrated at the clothing separating them and pulled on his shirt. She wanted to find that handsome broad hairy chest he had shamelessly flaunted at the nurses in the hospital. John sat up, removing his waist coast, allowing her to pull his shirt over his head and toss it aside. Her tormented hands roamed over his broad taught chest and then muscular back. He licked and nipped at her neck while unfastening her garment. Margaret felt him trembling just as she was. The excitement of each moment encouraged her onward.
John carried her to his room. He could feel the powerful and understandable shyness sweeping over her as he was about to lay bare her femininity. “Margaret, I love you and I want to love every part of you,” John said softly in her ear.
Margaret responded, “I think we’re lusting, do not you?” That caused a mild laugh from both of them which seemed to settle her fears somewhat, allowing the fires of desire to build again.
“You may think of it as you will since this is all new to you, but I know mine is lust with love being my guiding force. I never felt this way about anyone before. The experience hasn’t even started yet and the thirst is so much richer, you cannot ever know the difference,” John said, in a passionate tone. “And you will never know the difference,” he laughed.
Their small laughter stalled the moment, permitting Margaret to feel more at east at the thought of being naked in front of him. “What if he finds me unattractive compared to all those other women?” She could not help but wonder and fear that she would disappoint him. “John, I am afraid that you will find dismay with me. I was so ready only moments ago and now I have doubts about being all that you want.”
“Margaret, unless you are a man under your frock, I cannot possibly be disappointed. I want you to understand that I love you much deeper than what I can see and touch. You could put a scarf about my eyes so I could not see you naked and I would still love you every bit as I do now.” John covered her mouth before she could say anything else. That interlude had appeased his frenzied passion and he was more the glad for it. Those times would come later, but now he had to be gentle and controlled. He was going to teach her to spread her wings and soar.
Being starved for the taste of her lips, his lips found hers. His tongue savored her mouth while he slowly undid the bindings to her clothing. John felt her body heat searing his hands as her skin started to reveal itself to him. She was trembling in anticipation. He wanted to rip her clothing from her body but he needed her to trust him and he must be lovingly gentle with her. He felt if he did not soon touch her flesh, he would go mad. The urgency that welled within him was a frighteningly new sensation. He had always felt he had good patience when he needed it. Not this time. Everything he had ever learned or cultivated with other woman was gone from him now. His hands were shaking. John kissed Margaret passionately again, trying to reaffirm he was a mature man in control with the dream of his loins lying with him.
Margaret could not help but feel and fear more shyness as he unlaced her shift. Not since being a small child had anyone seen her naked. As John found the curve of her neck with his mouth, she could feel her stiffness and unease float away. She whimpered at the thought that she and her handsome man would be naked and be flesh to flesh within seconds.
The moment John removed her last garment he rose and removed all of his clothing, casting them aside. John stared at Margaret as he undressed, noticing her full rounded breasts. Her rose nipples already pert and waiting to be tasted. “Margaret, you are exquisite, my love. You are more beautiful than I have any right to hold. He feverishly kissed her neck and then continued downward.
John stroked her skin; it was soft and the color of ivory. He caressed all the way to the soft brown curls that formed a triangle at the top of her thighs. He found it difficult not to just lift her legs, and place them over his shoulders. He wanted so much to kiss that sweet spot. Because this was her first sexual encounter, he would take her in the most basic way. John, lifted his head and watched at her eyes, as she studied his body. When her smile broke out, demonstrating approval of what she saw, he felt great pride. Her eyes traveled down to his loins. There, where his manhood was proudly standing, her eyes widened. He thought he saw fear in them, stealing the passion that had been building.
He quickly pulled her to him and kissed her. Their bodies touched and he moaned into her neck, snuggling and suckling there. He never experienced anything this wonderful in life, but she must not fear him. John feasted upon her breasts with his hands, mouth and tongue. Margaret gasped out a sultry moan at the relief to her aching bosom. John’s suckling of her breasts and nipples sent waves of heat to her lower area. Margaret began to writhe about. Her body wanted attention elsewhere.
His hand traveled down to her navel, gently circling and soothing her back to the building fire all over her body, casting off all fears, leaving only heated passion in his wake.
Margaret became aware that anywhere he touched her, he sent radiating heat between her legs.
John kissed her deeply. His hand traveled down her thighs and slowly with his fingers he parted them. A little at first and then wider still. Margaret hesitated, instinctively feeling the life-long guardianship of that part of her body. Not exposing herself had been engrained in her for twenty five years. The wall of self preservation, however, easily yielded itself and welcomed her hero. As John touched her inner lips, her intake of breath echoed the room . She threw her head back, and was overwhelmed by the sensual sensations and was surprised at the sounds she was making and could not control. He watched her eyes squeeze tightly shut as she arched up to his touch. She wanted more firmness to the wondrous feeling, but then would recoil, not being able to absorb the fierce pleasure and the embarrassment of her own desirous body.
John immersed himself in her response; he could feel the fear that he had seen in her eyes was now disappearing. Leaving her mouth, he licked his way to her nipples, still waiting for attention. Margaret strained to find some way to touch him more, to run her hand over his skin. She was aflame and didn’t know what to do, or what she wanted, until John took her nipple into his warm moist mouth. She gasped! She bowed her back again and started running her hands through his sweat laden hair and drawing him harder against her. She wondered if she was a wanton woman. Through an exhausted breath, Margaret said, “This is almost too much to bear, but please do not stop.” Margaret felt the suckling give way to John’s smile.
“Always know, I will never stop unless you tell me so. I will never have enough of you in my arms, my hands or my mouth.” John rolled over on top of her, nudging her thighs further apart. As he continued to suckle at her breasts, he slowly introduced her to his erection, allowing his rigid penis to lie against her womanhood.
Margaret wanted to start thrashing as she felt his hard shaft touch her there. Such a wonderful pulsing ache ran through her and she wanted to encourage him further but didn’t know how. Suddenly, John slid one long finger into her moist opening. She was startled at the intimacy of the act. Small sounds escaped her, never intending to be spoken. Waves of delight started to crest over her and she wanted more of John as he unlocked her sensuality. Her lustful passion was birthing. She was no longer embarrassed of her urgency. Her need was too strong to let any other emotion take over.
John wanted to drown in her moist readiness. He steadied his shaken nerves as he would need to be delicate with what was to come. He listened to Margaret’s gasps and soft moans. He knew the time was now for them both. He was close to spilling his seed upon the sheets. He settled himself comfortably between her thighs preparing to enter her body. Sweat stung his eyes. As he began to enter her, she suddenly tensed all her muscles. “This is what could not happen; anything past this was rape,” he told himself. “Do you want me to stop,” John asked quietly, his lips against her ear.
“No,” Margaret bellowed as she arched her back to beckon him further.
Margaret started writhing, pleading for John to use her and ease her needs. “Please John, do something! Every nerve ending in me is taut like a violin string. I am weak, I do not know what I need but you must know what I need. What can I do to help us?”
“Relax your inner muscles. This first part of this first time will be uncomfortable for you,” John said as he kissed her deeply. Penetrating her mouth with his tongue, he felt her soften her feminine contractions. “As I enter, your body will stretch to accommodate me.”
“Yes, I am ready for you, John, no matter how it feels. I want you desperately. I do not know what is happening to me or how to control this anxious feeling.”
“You have no need to control any of this. This is my greatest pleasure. Please, do not deprive me of it. A man’s release is swept away so quickly. Controlling the entire intimate act helps balance the scales.” John kissed her tenderly which eased all of her fears and allowed him further entrance. He was slow and gentle. Margaret felt the lightening travel her body, with no way out. Her body was headed for something great but she knew she could not get there without John. She wanted more of him, there had to be more to this, she thought to herself. “Is there more to this? I need more of you,” she heard herself cry.”
“Yes, Margaret, there is more.” Margaret heard him saying through a smile. “But I am about to breech the shield of your maidenhead. There could be some pain of short duration and that will never happen again. You are about to give your virtue to me. I love you more than life for your giving me this most precious gift. Shall I continue? I will not be able to stop once I start again.”
“Bloody hell, John, you’re not leading the cavalry into battle, are you? Just get on with it!” A quickly frustrating Margaret replied.
At that very moment, shock and a thick fog drifted through his mind and body, halting any further movement. In fact, the bugle cry to retreat had shook him to his very core, sending his manhood off somewhere to lick its wounds. John opened his eyes, disbelieving what Margaret had just said; totally flabbergasted at her statement. He wilted on the spot, and withdrew, laughing his head off. Once again, in their relationship, she had thrown him far off balance.
“John, what are you doing?” Margaret asked in a panicky voice, looking at him. “Come back here. Where is your . . . thing?”
“Margaret! You have just ruined my carefully, well thought out and passionate plans for this, your first time and mine with you. You have emasculated me,” John said laughingly, covering his eyes with his crossed arm.
Margaret looked down said, “Oh, I see that now. Well, you would not hurry. I wanted you to hurry and you had to keep talking and asking questions. You apparently do not know what you’re doing to me, do you?” She questioned, not really knowing what answer she should be expecting. “Do not you know you’re starving me? I hunger with the need of you, but you give me crumbs and conversation. Wait . . . I know what to do. Do not move.” Margaret got up, disappeared for about three minutes then strode back into another room. Striding across the room, now comfortable with her nakedness, she carried a sheaf of paper. She began to read to John.
Being of sound mind and a passion-starved being, I, Margaret Hale, do here by bequeath total access to my body to one John Thornton of Milton, to have and to hold all of me, including my virtue until death do us part.
Respectfully, but still virginal, Margaret Hale
John sat up and was cramping from laughter. All wide eyed, he said, “I cannot believe we’re having this conversation. Now, of all times.” John swatted at her hand that held the proclamation and took it away from her. “I am not ready to relinquish my manly propriety and allow you to guide my performance. Men take great pride in that, especially at this time. Later, yes, you will have free rein, but I am the experienced one. I am now hobbled as you can see.” He was still reeling with laughter at what had just happened.
Margaret also started laughing as John laughed even harder. They found each other’s eyes and their passion was restored instantly.
John kissed her intimately as he again settled between her thighs. He tried not to recall her comment of moments ago. He kissed her silken neck down to her breasts. But this time proceeded below her abdomen which he could tell Margaret wasn’t prepared to find his mouth there. His tongue assaulted her womanly folds and John had to hold her down. Knowing this to be the most delicate part of a woman, he didn’t remain there long. He didn’t want her to climax without him buried deep inside of her warm miost contracting sheath. She was completely ready for him. Slowly, at the pace he felt she would safely have this first time, and not what she thought she needed, he entered her again. He could injure her if he wasn’t careful but she obviously didn’t know that. On his second thrust, John drove through the barrier or her innocence. As he pushed hard he stifled her cry of pain with a kiss covering her mouth. He absorbed her pain into him as she took him into her and he drove deeper. “Put your legs around me as you once did,” he panted.
John struggled to rekindle her fire that she had before he took her virginity. He thrust again, burying the all of him into her. As he withdrew, she gasped in disappointment, and as he drove back deep, she moaned with pleasure. Margaret was a passionate fire in his arms. She wanted and needed him badly –– urgently. Desire was caressing them, sending them on a blissful journey. Margaret knew John could give her what she needed and she wanted to give to him. John throttled his control wanting to be slow and gentle, fearing any lingering pain. However, Margaret didn’t want slow and gentle now. Her body met him thrust for thrust and she urged him on. John could feel her vaginal muscle contractions holding him, milking him. He opened his eyes briefly wanting to see her raw desire for him. Her eyes were closed, and her brows were furrowed with expectation as she moved her head from side to side. He drove for their release. She clung to him as he carried them both into oblivion. The end came all too quickly for him, as John cried out her name when he jetted his life into her. He heard his name come from her lips. He opened his eyes as she crested her climax and he rode her wave that he fervently wanted to give her time and time again.
“Do not stop, John. It’s too beautiful,” Margaret said while struggling to take air in her lungs.
Watching her embrace the greatest pleasure he could give her, John knew at that instant it was the most stunning vision he would ever have in his lifetime. His own senses were competing for first place in his body. Was it to be the pleasure shared, the tender moment when she gave him her most precious gift, was it his own pride as he watched her face or was it his devout love for her? He knew whatever the feeling was, it ran much deeper than all of those thoughts. John move very slowly and savored her contractions that wanted to hold him there. He found her eyes were still closed and kissed her mouth. Her fists were starting to unclench, signaling her wave was rolling on shore. He absolutely loved the way her orgasm continued long after his.
Instead of shifting his weight off her, he rose on his elbows and watched her face as she ascended back to consciousness. Tears formed in the corners of her closed eyes but they were tears of contentment. A broad smile spread across her face, even though her eyes were closed. He was capturing this unguarded look of ecstasy on her face. Somewhere in the future, he wanted to stimulate her to climax with only his hand, while he watched her every twitch, spasm and facial expression. He wanted to visually drink in her quivering thighs and legs instead of just feeling them. He wanted to hear every sensual moan, gasp, and cry. He wanted to watch her body shudder as her orgasm finally took her. He would love to hear her plead for release from the almost intolerable moment of pleasure. He desired to see her build to a climax he would give her, and then her experience of it before falling back to earth. John knew he could give her all the rapture she could bear. He felt fulfillment, knowing he had found the woman of his life. She was a woman that made a man really feel like a man.
Margaret opened her unfocused eyes. Those eyes of hers, by god, he felt he could fall into them and never be seen again. She sought for words but they would not come.
John rose and went to the basin for a damp cloth. He washed himself and then returned to the bed to wash away all the signs of her conquered virginity. She was delirious and didn’t seem to mind what he was doing. John felt exhilarated with this additional experience and trust she showed in him for his gentleness. Of the women he had been with, he never shared this most intimate and delicate of acts.
They quietly laid together in the soft afterwards of their oneness.
“John?” Margaret spoke barely above a whisper.
“Was making love to me any different, better, or disappointing than previous women you have lain with?”
John turned to her, hardly believing what he was hearing in that question. But then thought, how was she to judge him or any other man’s responses. “I know we have known each other for a short time by all standards but surely you know that tHere is been no one like you for me, ever before.”
“How could I know that? That does not really answer my question,” Margaret said on the edge of tears. “I guess I could, perhaps, think I was different since I was a virgin but from what you’re telling me I am not sure I like that any better. Actually, do not tell me or explain anything to me. I do not want to know. I have no business meddling into your life before me. Just forget that I asked that.”
John sat straight up in the bed and pulled Margaret to a sitting position, too. “No, I will not forget that. You will always wonder if we do not get this out in the open. First, if you had been a different lady and had flirted or tried to seduce me, I would probably bow to your request, as I knew it would fill my own physical needs but that would never happen here at my home. Should I have known in advance that you were an innocent, then by no means would I have taken you. That would never happen, as that ruins a woman’s whole life. Unless I was prepared to take care of her for the rest of her life, it would be unthinkable. Nothing of what I have said has answered your question but you must believe me when I say that I have never loved another woman before you. I have never wanted to spend the rest of my life with one woman until you. The sex act itself is for purely a physical satisfaction but with you, it isn’t. I want you to feel all the passion you are capable of; my needs come second. Serving your wants and desires are what satisfies me. I have never felt that way before and I can tell you, it’s damn intoxicating and powerful. It’s rapturous, it’s unequaled, overwhelming, and it’s potent. You make me know that I am a man that can truly please his woman. That swells my inner private pride. You complete me. You are the only one that now has the power to break my heart,” John said to Margaret as the tears welled in his eyes. His emotions were overpowering him. She had to understand how much she meant to him.
“Having sex is one thing, but making love is so much richer and deeper. It is all consuming. Having sex feels great and loving someone is wonderful. Put the two together and nothing on earth can equal it. My whole being, down to my soul, connects with your love. What we have just experienced took us to a place where only we can share; it’s our place. Do you not feel that touching depth?”
Crying her tears of joy and love, she said, “Yes, John I do feel that. I just would not have known how to say it as well as you did. You’re more experienced in the difference and I have had none.
“Margaret, I am not experienced in what we just shared. This time spent with you is new to me, too.”
I wondered if having sex was that great for everyone, but I know now that it cannot be unless one is in love, as we are. John, you just overwhelm me and I love you so.”
“Margaret, you keep me off balance, just like your proclamation. I love you for that, along with many other wonders you have.” John noticed Margaret’s eyes were glazing over, totally unfocused to anything other than her sensual emotions running around in her head and body. She laid back down and stared at the ceiling. John became undone looking at her contented face. He wanted to always see the face he was now seeing. “Margaret, is all well with you? Did I hurt you?” John wondered why he would ask such a question, but she had just seemed to float away from their conversation.
In a dazed voice, she said, “I just realized what the whole experience feels like. I do not know why such a thing just came to me. Would you like to know or perhaps you already know the sheer pleasure you gave to me.”
“More than anything I would like to know what it felt like for you” John said being all too anxious to hear her words spoken so emotionally.
“I felt like a rock.”
“A rock?” John questioned, somewhat disturbed and confused.
“Yes, I am a small little rock, a pebble perhaps, and you are my slingshot.”
John could not help but grin broadly at the analogy.
“Yes, you are the slingshot. You fold me into you and you cradle me. You hold me tight and draw me back, tautly and deliriously, urging me to fly. You hold me there, in your strong but sensuous trembling hands, inducing my anticipation of flight. The tension of the bands compels me to reach for further heights, and it encourages you. You draw us further along with your strength and control. Both of us are straining for a release from the force that has built to an unbearable unyielding demand to be set aloft. And then . . . you lovingly snap me lose. Your work is over but from there I just sail and soar freely above the clouds, over the horizon, into a world that you created just for me. There is nothing to see, I can only feel a resonating quiver. I am oblivious to everything except the raptures of the voyage that you launched me toward. The joy of my flight eventually wavers and I tumble into the sweet grass and there you are, ready to sling me again and I am in heaven once more.”
“That was lovely, Margaret. I loved hearing that and it did give me a heartwarming and prideful insight. I will always remember and cherish this moment. Right now, I am going to put you in my pocket and keep you forever more. You are the rock of my life.”
Margaret thought to herself that she would look for the perfect pebble and have it set into a gold ring for John. She would give it to him on their wedding day.
The next morning, a smiling Nigel was at the front step, waiting for his Mistress, who was also wearing a smile. He saw the door open and as his Mistress was about to step out, she was pulled back in and the door was pushed closed. “Undoubtedly, a farewell kiss after their night,” Nigel thought. “Oh yes,” he said to himself as she came through the door with that look. The smile is there, the blush is there, he was happy for her. He saw that Mr. Thornton was doing the honors of handing her in the coach, before he could.