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Author Topic: Taco Bell  (Read 495 times)


  • Monarch
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Taco Bell
« on: February 13, 2018, 07:27:13 PM »
That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me.  I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher.  Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid, with the Elmo hairdo, said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me.  He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."
I turned to see who he was talking to, and I then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully.
I stood there stupefied. I am 56, not even 60 yet? A mere child!  Senior citizen?  Noooooooooo way !
I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Elmo.  Was he blind?  As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old?  Me?
I'll show him, I thought.  I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.
Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted by some trinket !  What am I now?  A toddler?
"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?"  I stared with utter disdain at the keys.  I began to rationalize in my mind !
"Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly ! It could happen to anyone !"
I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now?  I checked my keys and tried another.  Still nothing.
That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror.  I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror.
Then, a few other objects came into focus: The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard.  A partially eaten dough nut on the dashboard.
Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.
Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life.
That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger!  My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, ..... only it was nowhere to be found.
I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time.
There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All  I could think was, "What is the world coming to?"
All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here"?
At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.
Elmo had no clue.
I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention.
He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake."
I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.
She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."
All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40 mph zone.  Yessss,... I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer, I'm  not  too old to be driving this fast.  As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall.
I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket.  I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blanket.
The good news was that I had successfully found my way home.


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Re: Taco Bell
« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2018, 04:40:45 AM »
 :fav001: That's not you, Genie, I hope? Nor me, for that matter!

I do forget things sometimes but not too many.
I try to be organized and that helps a lot.


* BBC Films

* The Guardian (Film)

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  • post Should we be surprised by John Wayne's racist and homophobic views? | Caspar Salmon - 20 February
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  • post Cold Pursuit review ? Liam Neeson revenge thriller leaves a bad taste - 21 February
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  • post From Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 to Ken Park: films that failed the censorship test - 20 February
  • Australia has a long history of banning films, but many of those blocked in the past are now easily available to watch
    Tobe Hooper?s 1986 film, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, was made available to stream on Stan on 9 February. But for 20 years the film wasn?t even allowed in the country: it was banned by the Australian Classification Board, with the ban only being lifted in 2006.In the cool, calm light of 2019 it seems ludicrous that a film like this, a gory but broad black comedy starring Dennis Hopper, a sequel to Hooper?s 1974 film of the same name, could be deemed unfit for the delicate sensibilities of Australian audiences. But then and now, both the Board and the Australian Federal Police took the importing of contraband media very seriously. Continue reading...
  • post Don?t stop at The Departed?s rat: six other movie scenes that should be cut - 20 February
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  • post Alec Baldwin fears for family's safety after Trump 'retribution' threats - 21 February
  • In Dworkin Report podcast, SNL sketch actor wonders what ?retribution? will look like, and jokes about jail for Trump JrAlec Baldwin has spoken of his fear that Donald Trump is stirring up some supporters to exact ?retribution? against him for his satirical performance of the president on Saturday Night Live, saying the president ?signals people? to become angry and bitter ?and then the actions flow from there?.The actor also offered a joking reply to Donald Trump Jnr who tweeted that Baldwin?s claims he was afraid for his safety were ?bullshit?, saying the president?s son would have ?a lot of time to watch SNL? in prison. Continue reading...
  • post Chris Hemsworth to play Hulk Hogan in big-screen biopic - 20 February
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  • post Emma Thompson quits film after John Lasseter joins production - 20 February
  • The actor had been due to voice a role in Luck but left the film after Skydance controversially hired the former Pixar chief who has been accused of sexual harassment Emma Thompson has pulled out of a role in a large-scale animated film after former Pixar chief John Lasseter joined the production.Thompson had been due to voice a role in Luck, produced by Skydance Animation, but reportedly left the film after Skydance controversially hired Lasseter to head its animation division. Lasseter, who was chief creative officer of Pixar and Walt Disney Animation Studios, took a leave of absence in 2017 after admitting to sexual conduct ?missteps?, before leaving the company in 2018. Continue reading...
  • post Harvey Weinstein breaks silence ? to deny wanting Affleck to play Shakespeare - 20 February
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Re: Ten Years North and South today! by Luce
[February 19, 2019, 11:37:52 AM]

Re: Ten Years North and South today! by genie
[February 19, 2019, 10:37:17 AM]

Re: Ten Years North and South today! by genie
[February 19, 2019, 10:30:48 AM]

Re: Ten Years North and South today! by genie
[February 19, 2019, 10:02:00 AM]

Re: Ten Years North and South today! by Luce
[February 19, 2019, 04:33:23 AM]

Re: Ten Years North and South today! by genie
[February 18, 2019, 07:29:48 PM]

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