Squeaks’ meeting was finally over with an affirmative answer.
“Father, I am going to take a ride with Kip, so we can discuss the Coachmen events. I will need your help and pick a friend of yours, also. We will talk when I return.
Kip was surprised that she took his arm leaving the kitchen. He had been shocked about the marriage comment to his Lordship. “Where to, your Grace?”
“To your home that I have never seen.”
“There is a reason for that. In fact, no one should ever see it.”
“Since you seem to have won the day with Stokes, who am I to tell you, no. You will ride in the coach until that plaster comes off.”
Arriving at his home and stable, Squeaks marveled at it when he pulled to the back. This was Kip’s place. This was where he slept, ate, and changed into his fine tails. Then she noticed the stable. “Oh, Kip, this is very nice what you have done with your stable. It’s large, clean, and painted. I think it does look better than your home. Can I see the tack room?”
Kip was embarrassed taking her in there. His walls were covered with brushes and combs, oils and lotions for rubbing down the horses, special food barrels, and a lot of polishes for the coaches, many sets of harnesses and bridles, plus several saddles. It was a store within a stable.
“Kip, this is extraordinary. You even have horse brasses. Those are like jewelry on the horse. This is better than Lord Stokes’s stable, and he’s fairly prideful of his.”
“I have only had my horses to bestow gifts upon. Now I have you. I want to spoil you. I want to spoil you in many ways.”
“Kip, drivers cannot afford to be so carefree with their earnings. I assume you make a higher fare than most, but still, just spoil me with your love. I do not need gifts.”
Kip led her to the back door and into the kitchen thinking how he wanted to spoil her with his love. “The loo is upstairs.”
“I’ll see it when you show me through the house.”
Kip showed her through the base floor, which had the kitchen, a dining room, and a parlor. Upstairs, there was his bedroom and a second one, which was empty. “Here is the loo, Sweets. I pray I left it tolerable.”
“I will be down in a moment.” Before Squeaks pulled her trousers down, she looked at Kip’s accessories in the room. This was where he cleaned and shaved, perhaps standing naked after bathing. She quickly removed that image from her mind. It felt warm in there. Squeaks carried her boots instead of wearing them. She surprised Kip, being so quiet coming down the stairs without shoes. She watched for a moment while he tidied the parlor without being observed, then she startled him as he turned her way.
“I did not hear you come down . . . I see you carry your boots.”
“Can I see inside your wardrobe?”
“That’s a strange question. Are you asking to go back upstairs to my bedchamber?” He smiled.
“I am asking to go to your wardrobe.”
“Follow me.” Kip took her hand. “Set your boots.” He led her upstairs and into his room.
Before Kip opened his wardrobe closet, she walked over and looked at the jewelry on his chest of drawers.
Kip sweated that he had nothing of wealth showing. He had left most of that behind, except he did bring a gold watch that his sister had given him the year before she died. There was a ring that he liked, too. He did not see any of those pieces where she was looking.
Squeaks walked over to the wardrobe and waited for Kip to open the doors. She was determined to see if he had real Wellingtons. “I’m waiting,” she said.
Kip opened the door, showing several tailed outfits and half a dozen day livery uniforms.
“This is like your tack room … very well stocked. There they are,” she said, reaching down and tapping his Wellington boots. I knew you would have a pair. She started towards the door. Kip blocked her.
He wrapped both of his arms around her and walked her backward to the bed while kissing her. He laid her down gently and kicked off his own boots. “May I kiss you for a while?”
She nodded as words became stuck in her throat. He was going to overwhelm her. “Are you going to get mad at yourself again; upset that you cannot handle your own desires? Will you have a fear that you’re going to ruin me for someone else because I don’t know what love is, and you may not be the one? Are you going to brand me, whatever that means?”
“Probably.” Kip laid down beside Squeaks. He rested on his side, she on her back. Lightly he drew his fingers across her face feeling the smoothness to his touch. He looked into her eyes, stared at her mouth and fondled her hair. Kip sat up and took off his vest and cravat, so there was only his shirt between her and his skin. He noticed as she watched him remove his clothing, her little tongue peeped out to wet her lips. That was almost unbearably sensuous.
“Would you care to take off your jacket and be comfortable?”
“All right. Are we going to do … do it?”
He smiled broadly at her. “No, I told you we are not going to take things that far. Not for a long time.”
“I don’t think you can wait, Mr. Kipling. I seem to drive you mad.”
“You are in a cast. I thought I would wait until you felt the time was right. I’ve reconsidered that since you don’t seem to know where the boundaries are. We are not ready to blaze new trails. That is now a decision I will make. Just let me love you my way.”
Kip leaned down and parted her moist velvet lips. She opened to him, and that was the only invitation he needed. He swept the sweetness from her mouth. His tongue prowled hungrily, aimlessly, and possessively. She wrapped her one arm around him, acknowledging he had a right to be there. His body began to move against hers with the rhythm of his thrusting tongue. Squeaks reached for the V at the neck of his shirt and felt his hair at the top. He pulled his shirt from his trousers. She began to touch his chest.
Kip rolled her over on top of him, allowing her full access to whatever she wanted. Squeaks sat straddled across his manhood as she rested her hands on his breasts, feeling the hair tickle her fingers. He watched her eyes grow and the smile come out. He never had seen a woman enjoy him. She was chipping away at her own innocence. She looked at him and smiled.
“I feel strange doing this,” she said.
He pulled her down to his mouth for another plunge into the sensual depths of her. “I love what you are doing. You seem quite proficient at most things you do.”
Squeaks sat back up and continued her foray into the man exposed to her. This wasn’t like seeing her father change his shirt. This was exciting her hands. She could feel her own pulse below her waist. Her heart sped up, and her breathing became slightly heavier. She knew Kip noticed that.
She found Kip’s hands and placed them lightly over her shirt on her breasts.
Kip quickly pulled his hands down. “No,” gushed a whispered answer. “You will like it, and I won’t be able to stop.”
“You mean like I’m doing to you?”
“It’s not the same, and you know it. I think you are wanton after all,” he kidded, trying to lighten the moment.
Squeaks teared up and moved off the top of him.
“I was only teasing you, Sweets. What have I said?”
“I have spent twenty years without anyone putting their arms around me. I could be wanton. I don’t know. I’ve been starved for this kind of affection.”
“Don’t you think I know that? Because of that, you need special handling, and no, you’re not wanton in the sense you think you mean. I want to take you through this slowly. I want you to feel the love that is deep but not physical. Right now, you are feeding on that desire within you. It’s all a perfectly healthy reaction. God knows I want what you want, but I will deny us both the ultimate intimacy for reasons only I am aware. I’m not an expert, but I did raise a sister, where we had these discussions. Love is much more than a physical yearning.”
“Can you not do anything about this feeling giddy and wriggly?”
“Could you tell me that in a different way?” Kip asked.
“Are you teasing me?”
“No, Sweets no. I’ve just never heard of being in a wriggle state before. Help me understand.”
“When you start kissing me, I begin feeling like jelly, not jam. Do you know the difference?”
“I feel wiggly all over as jelly wiggles on biscuits. It just continues. If I were a biscuit, the jelly would be leveled, but I never feel that.”
Kip was really enjoying her analogy.
“There is a want of more, I am sure of it. I know you know what I mean. You will just have to stop kissing me with your tongue or prepare for a Squeaks you’ve never seen,” she broke out in a smile.
“I am glad to see that smile.”
“Don’t think I didn’t mean what I said.”
“I know exactly what you mean. It is harder for me if you must know.”
“What? What’s harder?”
“Because I am bigger and stronger, I could go where I want with your body, and you would have little say about it. Wait … I don’t mean it to sound like that. I could complete the journey you desire, and it would only be a burst of ecstasy within the span of minutes. Then … yes, you are ruined for any other man. Only I know what you will have to go through to marry me, but most of all, I have to be sure it is I who you love. Giving you pleasure is one thing; taking it is another. I’m sorry. You’re just going to have to wiggle for me in the foreseeable future. Perhaps, you should see a few other men and make a comparison of your feelings. Think about it.”
“God must be a man.”
Kip laughed. “Indeed.”
“We need to go downstairs, and talk about the derby.”
“I agree. You have started something you may not be able to accomplish.”
“In more ways than one,” she smirked. “I will do it. You know I will. I have lots of ideas, and they include you and me. When this cast comes off, it will start two weeks after that.”
Kip and Squeaks’ beautiful late afternoon was coming to an end. It was time for her to be home. She did not want to leave, and Kip did not want to let her go. After Kip had pulled on her boots, he spun her around, checking to see if she looked neat again. He pulled her against his chest, kissing her and stealing her breath. He hugged her tightly.” I love you, Miss Squeaks. Is there any remorse about our passionless day? Guilt? Embarrassment?”
“Only my own weakness or perhaps the expectation of what lies beyond the immense desire I experienced. I am facing decisions that will change my life forever.”
Kip held her hands and looked into her weeping eyes, as she spoke of her deepest love.
“You, Kip, are causing tremors in my physical underpinnings. You have stolen my heart. In time, we will share my virtue. I am balancing on the edge of the only world I know, about to give the reins of my soul to you. I want to be everything I can to you, no matter where we are or what we do, I want to spend it with you.”
Kip choked up, he held her tightly around her arms and head. She rested her head against his heart with her arms around his waist. She heard him sniffle.
“Dear God, how I love you. I want all of you and forever. You will complete my life, every dream and fantasy I have ever had. I will cherish every piece of you, every moment with you – good and bad. I want to share my eternity with you. I will walk beside you, provide for you, protect you, possess you, pleasure you, and give you children. Whatever I have, whatever I am, it is all because of you and belongs to you. I love you, Rebecca Dorset.”
Kip embraced her tenderly, thus ending a lovely part of the day to always cherish.
With Squeaks inside the coach, Kip climbed in with her. He wanted to discuss what he had only touched on moments ago.
“Squeaks, I believe you should see a few other men. Now, hold on. Before you get angry, let me explain my reasons. I know I love you. You think you love me. I want you in my life forever, but I need to know that you have made that decision weighted against other experiences with men. I know it’s difficult, but can you understand my worry for you?”
“Yes, I can understand that you feel that way. Of course, I do not wish to do this, but if it’s peace of mind you need, and you ask me to provide that to you, I will think about it. I don’t want to, though. I may seek advice from Father. He will probably agree with you.”
“I guess I can understand you need guidance on this, and it should not come from me. Yes, please think about it. I will not question you on any outings you make because I love you.”
“I’m not sure I believe you. I could not offer you the same privacy of actions. I would want to know every minute what was happening.”
“That is not surprising. You are a woman.”
“I thought we had that part settled. Explain yourself.”
Kip laughed at her hands on her hips like an old washerwoman. “Women are naturally inquisitive. Men are not.”
“I am sorry to say this, but I grew up with a mother and sister. You did not. So, it stands to reason that you were never encouraged to be nosy, but yet here you are with help from no one.” Even though it sounded theoretically correct, Kip was making it up as he spoke.
“I don’t call that nosy. I call that caring.”
“As you wish. A rose by any other name . . . Would you please take your hands off your hips?”
How I love her.
“Go, ask your father what he thinks. He will agree with me. You’ll see.”